When teenagers say, “There’s nothing to eat here!” what that translates to in “real world speak” is, “There’s nothing here that I WANT TO EAT” or “THAT INTERESTS ME”. We are finicky. I guess technically, I’m an adult now, being 19, but I still consider myself a teenager until I turn 20. Teenagers want what they want at that moment in time, they have an extremely hard time looking past the present. Which is why whenever a party is coming up, and you have a teenage daughter, she says she “HAS TO GO”, like it’s a matter of life and death. And even if lives DID hang in the balance, it would have to depend on who’s they were before I saved them. But she feels that if she cannot go to this party, then all hope is lost, humanity will crumble, and life as we know it will come a stand still. Not really the case. And so the same goes with what they say when they say “there’s nothing here to eat.” I call them “teenisms”. Teenisms are much like parentisms. Parentisms include such popular phrases as:
*You’ll poke an eye out with that!
*Don’t make me come in there!
*If I have to tell you ONE MORE TIME….
Teenisms are a tad different with such popular phrases as:
*There’s nothing to eat here
*I left my book in my locker!
*I love you mom and dad
Every single one of those, is a lie. But the totally weird part is that, they will deny something to the ends of the earth, even after being caught. Like, they say there’s nothing to eat, but then their dad will show them something they really like, like some chicken wings, right? And he’ll be like, “Here, what about these, you LOVE these?” And just to make it seem like the kid knows what he’s talking about, he’ll deny ever liking them, he’ll straight up deny it.
“No I don’t! I’ve ALWAYS hated those! They’re disgusting!”
Now the only question that should be asked for teens these days is, “So since your parents screwed you up, what’s the first thing you’ll do with your future? Welfare of Alcoholism?”
m@rk
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